5 Ways To Support Someone Who Hears Voices: A Compassionate, Trauma-Informed Guide

When someone tells you they're hearing voices, it can be confusing, even frightening especially if you’ve never experienced it yourself. But for many people, hearing voices (sometimes called “auditory hallucinations”) is a very real and deeply personal experience. It’s more common than most people realise, and it doesn’t necessarily mean someone has a mental illness or needs to be "fixed." In fact, for some, hearing voices is part of how they make sense of the world.

This blog post is for people, friends, family members, partners, or even colleagues, who want to understand and support someone in their life who hears voices. We’ll walk through five compassionate, trauma-informed ways you can offer real, meaningful support.

Let’s start with something important, you don’t need to be a therapist to be supportive. What you do need is empathy, an open mind, and a willingness to learn.

Why a Trauma-Informed Approach Matters

Before we dive in, let’s briefly unpack what “trauma-informed care” means. A trauma-informed perspective acknowledges that many people who experience emotional distress, including hearing voices, have histories of trauma, whether that’s childhood adversity, abuse, neglect, systemic oppression, or other difficult life events.

Trauma-informed care doesn’t pathologize people or treat them as broken. Instead, it asks: What happened to you? rather than What’s wrong with you? It prioritises safety, choice, collaboration, trust, and empowerment.

Now, with that in mind, let’s explore how you can support someone who is hearing voices in a trauma-informed way.

1. Listen Without Judgment

The most powerful tool you have is your ability to listen.

When someone opens up about hearing voices, they’re offering you something deeply vulnerable. Often, they’ve faced ridicule, disbelief, or even punishment in the past for talking about these experiences. That’s why your first job is to simply believe them.

Voice-hearing is often an isolating experience, not because of the voices themselves, but because of how others respond. Many people learn to hide their experiences to avoid being labelled, medicated without consent, or even institutionalised. That fear of being judged or misunderstood can cause immense loneliness and shame. When someone trusts you enough to share this part of their life, it’s a sign of deep courage.

Listening without judgment means offering your full presence. It’s not about interrogating or trying to understand everything perfectly—it’s about making space for their truth, even if it's different from yours.

What does this look like in practice?

• Don’t interrupt. Let them speak in their own words. Don’t try to finish their sentences or “make sense” of what they’re saying too quickly. Give them time and space.

• Avoid dismissing their reality. Saying things like “That’s not real” or “Just ignore it” can be hurtful. It can come across as invalidating. Instead, you might say, “That sounds really difficult. I’m here with you,” or “I can see that this is very real for you.”

• Use open-ended questions. Try things like, “Can you tell me more about what it’s like for you?” or “How do the voices affect you day to day?”

• Reflect and validate. Use responses like, “That makes sense,” “Thanks for sharing that with me,” or “That must be so hard.” Simple validation helps someone feel seen.

Remember: your job isn’t to fix them or challenge their experience. Your job is to create a safe space where they feel heard and accepted. You may not always know what to say and that’s okay. Silence, when paired with compassionate presence, is often more powerful than a flood of words. Sometimes, just sitting beside someone without judgment is the greatest support you can offer.

2. Get Curious, Not Fearful

When someone tells you they hear voices, your first instinct might be to feel alarmed or overwhelmed. That’s a totally human reaction, especially if you've absorbed messages from TV shows or news stories that associate voice-hearing with violence or unpredictability. But here’s the truth, those portrayals are often inaccurate and sensationalised.

In real life, many people who hear voices are not in crisis or danger. They may be navigating something deeply personal, spiritual, or even creative. Others might be dealing with grief, stress, or trauma. Each experience is unique. The voices might be intrusive and difficult, but they can also be neutral or even comforting. The key is to meet this experience with curiosity, not fear.

Why Curiosity Matters

Fear often leads us to try to fix, diagnose, or even distance ourselves from what we don’t understand. But curiosity is about presence. It says: I’m willing to be here with you, even if I don’t have all the answers. That in itself can be a healing gesture.

When we ask open, respectful questions, we communicate that:

• The person’s experience matters.

• Their perspective is valid.

• We’re not trying to “treat” them—we’re trying to understand them.

This kind of curiosity reduces shame and helps the person feel less alone. It invites conversation rather than shutting it down.

What Curious Support Looks Like

Here are some ways to practice compassionate curiosity:

• Ask, “What are the voices like for you?”

  This helps the person describe their experience in their own words. Are the voices friendly or critical? Do they speak in familiar tones, or feel like strangers? When do they tend to show up?

  
  

• Ask, “How do you feel about the voices?”

  Some people feel comforted by certain voices, while others feel scared, confused, or frustrated. Understanding their emotional response is more important than forming your own opinion about what the voices “mean.”

  
  

• Ask, “What helps you cope?”

  You might be surprised by the strategies people have already developed, like listening to music, setting boundaries with voices, or talking to peers with similar experiences. Respect the fact that they are already managing a complex inner world.

  
  

• Respect their language.

  Some people may call the experience “hearing voices,” others might say “I hear spirits,” “I receive messages,” or “I have auditory experiences.” Don’t correct or challenge their terminology. Language is personal and cultural, let them lead.

  
  

• Be okay with not knowing everything.

  You don’t have to understand all the details to be supportive. Sometimes, saying “I don’t fully understand, but I want to learn” is the most honest and healing response you can give.

What to Avoid

• Don’t interrogate. Asking questions is helpful, but avoid peppering the person with rapid-fire queries or asking for “proof” of their experience. Let the conversation unfold naturally.

• Don’t jump to conclusions. Hearing voices doesn’t automatically mean someone has a psychiatric disorder. Many people who hear voices live full and meaningful lives without needing clinical intervention.

• Don’t let fear shut you down. If you feel unsure or anxious, that’s okay. Take a breath. Ask yourself: Am I responding to this person, or to my fear of the unknown? Then try to return to empathy.

Curiosity Builds Trust

When you respond to someone’s vulnerability with warmth and respectful curiosity, you create a relationship where they feel safe being themselves. That trust might not come instantly, but over time, your willingness to ask and listen can become one of the most grounding forces in their life.

This doesn’t mean you need to understand everything about what they’re experiencing. It just means you’re walking alongside them, rather than standing back.

3. Don’t Focus Only on the Voices

It’s natural to want to help someone by talking about what seems like the “problem.” But when it comes to hearing voices, centring every conversation on the voices themselves can unintentionally reinforce the idea that the person is nothing more than their experiences of distress.

Trauma-informed care reminds us that people are more than their pain. They are whole, multifaceted human beings with identities, relationships, preferences, and dreams. While it’s important to create space for conversations about the voices when and if the person wants that, it’s just as important (sometimes even more so) to focus on who they are beyond the voices.

People Are Not Their Diagnoses or Their Symptoms

Many people who hear voices have had the experience of being “reduced” to a diagnosis or a behaviour in medical settings. They may have had professionals ignore their personal history, minimise their strengths, or overlook their goals. Friends and family members, even with the best intentions, can sometimes make the same mistake: every check-in becomes a symptom check. Every meal becomes a discussion about medications. Every outing becomes a subtle evaluation of “how they’re doing.”Over time, this can feel suffocating and disempowering.

What Support Looks Like Beyond the Voices

Try to nurture connection through shared interests and ordinary, grounding experiences. These everyday interactions help people reconnect with their identity outside of distress. They also send an important message: You are not broken. You are still here, still you, still part of this world.

Here are some gentle ways to practice this:

• Engage in regular activities together. Invite them for a walk, a movie night, a meal, or a hobby you both enjoy. These simple routines can offer structure and joy, both of which are protective in times of emotional intensity.

• Talk about topics unrelated to voice-hearing. Ask about their favourite books, music, memories, or plans. Show genuine interest in their thoughts, not just their symptoms.

• Celebrate moments of strength. Whether they got out of bed, went to work, created art, or just made it through a tough day, acknowledge these as signs of resilience, not just "compliance" or "progress."

• Let the person lead. If they want to talk about the voices, let them. But don’t make that the only topic of concern. Respect when they want to focus on other parts of life.

• Be present without pressure. Sometimes just sitting together, reading, listening to music, or doing a quiet task is enough. Presence is powerful, even in silence.

Why This Matters

People who hear voices often say the most healing relationships are the ones where they feel treated like a person, not a project. When others show interest in their life beyond the voice-hearing, they begin to feel safe, seen, and reconnected with a sense of normalcy and meaning.

By not focusing solely on the voices, you are communicating:

• I trust your ability to navigate this.

• I value all of who you are not just the parts you’re struggling with.

• You are more than your distress.

This approach helps foster a sense of dignity, autonomy, and hope. And hope is one of the most important things we can offer anyone navigating emotional difficulty.

4. Learn Together and Respect Their Wisdom

When someone we care about goes through something unfamiliar or difficult (like hearing voices) it’s natural to want to help. Often, that help starts with learning: we Google symptoms, look up definitions, read articles (like this one), or even reach out to professionals. That impulse to educate ourselves is valuable. However, no book, blog, or degree can teach you more about your loved one’s experience than they can.

Trauma-informed support emphasises collaboration, not hierarchy. That means recognising that the person you’re supporting is the expert in their own life. They know what it feels like to walk through the world in their shoes. They know which coping strategies have worked, which ones haven’t, and what makes them feel safe or unsafe. Listening to that wisdom, and letting it guide how you show up, is a profound act of respect.

Honour Their Lived Experience

People who hear voices are often subjected to others’ interpretations of their experience. They might be told that their voices are symptoms, delusions, or signs of illness even if those labels don’t align with how they see themselves. Trauma-informed care invites us to pause and ask: Whose meaning matters most here? Instead of assuming what the experience means, allow the person to define it on their own terms.

They may describe the voices as messengers, protectors, echoes of trauma, spiritual guides, or simply unexplained phenomena. There’s no single “right” interpretation and yours doesn’t have to match theirs to be supportive. What matters is validating their experience and walking alongside them as they navigate it.

Learning Is a Shared Journey

Being supportive doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers. In fact, approaching this with humility, admitting what you don’t know and staying open to learning, can actually deepen your connection. Try saying:

• “I want to understand what this is like for you. Can you tell me more?”

• “I read something about hearing voices, does that match your experience?”

• “What do you wish people knew about what you go through?”

These kinds of questions open the door to mutual exploration. They show the person you trust their insight and value their voice, not just the ones they hear.

Practical Ways to Learn and Grow Together

• Read and watch things together. Explore resources like the Hearing Voices Network, YouTube talks by voice-hearers, or recovery stories written in their own words. Then talk about what resonates and what doesn’t.

• Ask for feedback. “Was that helpful?” or “Would you like me to handle things differently next time?” shows that you’re open to learning and adjusting.

• Avoid “expert” mode. Even if you’re well-read or work in healthcare, remember that your relationship isn’t a clinical one. Lead with curiosity, not correction.

• Invite collaboration. Say things like, “What would feel supportive for you right now?” or “Would it help if we figured this out together?”

This helps create a dynamic of partnership, where the person you’re supporting feels empowered and involved in their own care.

Respecting Cultural and Personal Meaning

Voice-hearing is a deeply personal experience, and it’s often shaped by a person’s cultural background, spirituality, or belief system. In many cultures around the world, hearing voices isn’t seen as an illness it’s seen as a gift, a connection to ancestors, or a form of intuition. Even in Western contexts, some people experience voice-hearing as creative or insightful, rather than pathological.

Respecting a person’s interpretation of their experience is not just about being polite it’s about recognising that healing happens when people feel seen, affirmed, and free to define their reality.

5. Prioritise Safety Without Taking Control

Sometimes, the voices someone hears can be distressing or even tell them to hurt themselves. This is understandably scary, especially if you care deeply for that person. Trying to force someone to seek help, take medication, or go to the hospital can often make things worse, especially if they’ve had traumatic experiences with the mental health system in the past.

A trauma-informed approach to safety includes:

• Checking in regularly. “How are you feeling today? Have the voices been kind or difficult?”

• Making safety plans together. “If things get overwhelming, what would you like me to do? Who can we call?”

• Knowing when to seek urgent help. If someone is in immediate danger of harming themselves or others, you may need to involve crisis services, but always aim to do this with them, not to them.

Above all, don’t make assumptions. Voice-hearing alone does not equal danger. Many people who hear distressing voices live full, peaceful lives with the right support and coping tools.

Sometimes, voices can become hostile or overwhelming. But that doesn’t always mean the person is in danger or needs to be hospitalised. Many people who hear aggressive or distressing voices have learned to manage them through grounding techniques, peer support, or simply being heard and believed.

What might indicate an urgent safety concern?

• The person talks about feeling like they might hurt themselves or someone else.

• They appear confused, extremely agitated, or disconnected from reality in a way that’s new or alarming.

• They express hopelessness or say they can’t go on.

If you’re unsure, ask directly but gently: “Are you feeling safe right now? Have you had any thoughts about hurting yourself or someone else?”

Contrary to popular belief, asking these questions does not increase risk, it shows that you care and that you’re a safe person to confide in.

Respect Their Autonomy Even in Crisis

If the person you’re supporting is not in immediate danger, your focus should be on empowering them to make their own choices. This includes respecting their decisions about:

• Whether to take medication

• Whether to speak to a professional

• Whether to go to the hospital

You can share your concerns and offer options but avoid making demands or using fear to pressure them. For example, instead of saying:

“If you don’t go to the hospital, I’m calling 911.”

Try:

“I’m really concerned because I care about you. What would feel helpful right now? Would you like me to stay with you, or call someone you trust?”

If it ever becomes absolutely necessary to involve crisis services (e.g., if there is an imminent threat to life), try to include the person in that process rather than acting unilaterally. Say:

“I don’t want to betray your trust, but I’m really scared for your safety right now. Can we talk about what help might look like together?”

Rebuild Safety After a Crisis

Sometimes, despite best efforts, things escalate and emergency services get involved. If that happens, it’s important to repair trust afterward.

You can say:

• “I know that might not have been the help you wanted, and I’m sorry it felt that way.”

• “I made that call because I didn’t know what else to do, and I care about you. Can we talk about how we might handle it differently next time?”

• “Your voice matters. I want us to find a plan that works for you.”

Acknowledging the person’s feelings, even if you did what you believed was necessary, helps rebuild the relational safety that trauma-informed support depends on.

Remember: Distress Doesn’t Always Mean Danger

A person can be in distress without being a risk to themselves or others. They may cry, say confusing things, or need space. That doesn’t automatically mean they need intervention. Sometimes, your calm, grounded presence is the safest thing in the room.

You don’t have to “do” anything heroic. Just be there. Listen. Stay regulated. Offer a glass of water, a quiet space, or simply your non-judgmental companionship.

Final Thoughts: It’s About Relationship, Not Rescue

Supporting someone who hears voices doesn’t mean you need to become their therapist or caregiver. It just means showing up with honesty, compassion, and respect.

A trauma-informed lens helps us see beyond labels and symptoms. It asks us to meet people where they are, rather than where we think they “should” be. It’s about walking alongside someone, not leading them.

Remember:

• You don’t need all the answers.

• You won’t always get it right.

• But your presence, your patience, and your willingness to listen can make a real difference.

Further Resources

If you’d like to learn more, here are some excellent starting points:

• Hearing Voices Network

• Intervoice

• Living with Voices: 50 Stories of Recovery by Romme, Escher, Dillon, et al.

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

• Podcasts like “Mad in America” or “Voices Unheard”

A Gentle Reminder to Take Care of Yourself Too

Supporting someone through complex emotional experiences can take a toll. Make sure you’re also checking in with your own needs, boundaries, and well-being. Seeking support from a therapist or peer group for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s wise.

You matter in this equation, too.

Thanks for reading. Your willingness to learn and care is part of what makes the world safer and kinder for people who hear voices. Keep listening, keep learning, and keep holding space for the beautiful diversity of human experience.

#psychology #psychologist #hearingvoices #therapy #trauma #traumatherapy #treatment #counsellingpsychologist #support #recovery

Photo by Sajad Nori on Unsplash