When people first learn about trauma responses, they are often introduced to the idea of fight, flight, or freeze. These three patterns have become widely recognised and have helped many people make sense of why they react the way they do under stress, conflict, or emotional overwhelm. For many, this framework brings relief. It offers language for experiences that previously felt confusing or even shameful. Yet, whilst fight, flight and freeze are helpful starting points, the

From the outside, everything appears to be going well. You meet your responsibilities. You go to work, care for your family, maintain relationships, and achieve what is expected of you. Others may describe you as capable, successful, reliable, or resilient. You are often the person people turn to when they need support. Yet internally, the experience can feel very different. Despite appearing to cope, you may feel constantly exhausted, disconnected from yourself, emotionally

There are moments in life when we feel able to cope with challenges in a calm and balanced way. We can think clearly, respond thoughtfully, and stay connected to ourselves and the people around us. At other times, even relatively small stresses can feel overwhelming. We may become anxious, reactive, emotionally flooded, or completely shut down. These shifts are not random. They are often connected to something psychologists refer to as the “window of tolerance”. The window of